Stepparenting With Grace

Stepparenting with grace is not an easy task. When I was five years old, my parents got a divorce. I was too young to understand what was going on, but I distinctly remember my mom dressing me for her mom’s funeral (a lot happened that year) and telling me that it wasn’t my fault and both mommy and daddy loved me and my brother very much. Both my mom and dad got remarried pretty quickly. My brother and I bounced between two homes and two families for a couple of years. The summer between 2nd and 3rd grade was a particularly unstable time, in which a string of bad decisions made by my mom provided my dad with full custody of both me and my brother.

[A string of bad decisions doesn’t mean you’re tainted, unworthy, or not important when it comes to Jesus. Read more about leaving your mom legacy here – and know that Jesus loves you and can use you no matter what you’ve done or what your story is.]

Growing up with a stepmom wasn’t easy for my brother and I. Both my dad and my stepmom brought baggage into their marriage that made it a rocky one for quite some time. After living with our biological mom for a couple of years in a home that wasn’t stable or safe, our emotional development wasn’t on the best track either. I was stubborn, didn’t trust others, and incredibly guarded. I’m sad to say that many days growing up I did not get along with my stepmom. Our broken, pieced-together family was hard for all of us, especially her.

Fast forward through a lot of heartache, a lot of patience, and a lot God’s grace, my stepmom has now been our mom for 26 years. My brother and I couldn’t imagine our lives without her. In fact, my brother recently got married and danced with her for their mother/son dance. A few years ago, I surprised my stepmom with a mother/daughter trip to New York City for Christmas: a long weekend in the big city, just her and I. And last year, I dropped everything and flew cross-country with a 4-month-old when she went through a major health crisis. I’m so grateful that God placed her in our lives. She means the world to me.

I am not a stepmom, but I am a stepdaughter. While I don’t pretend to know exactly what it’s like to raise a child that isn’t biologically mine, I know what’s it’s like from the child’s perspective. It’s confusing, frustrating, and intimidating at times. But it’s also fun – having more cousins and more Christmas parties was awesome growing up! It’s hard being in a step family, but also very rewarding. Stepparenting with grace can be achieved.

Stepparenting With Grace

When I was offered the chance to review Stepparenting with Grace: A Devotional For Blended Families, I jumped at the chance. Stepmomma, you have such a special and unique way to bond with your children that no one else has. You are a bonus momma for your kids! You can point them to Jesus and leave an important gospel-centered stamp on their lives. This devotional helps you do just that, while navigating the tough subjects and situations that are unique to you.

Stepparenting with Grace is comprehensive with 90 devotionals relating to stepfamily life. Each devotional begins with a Bible verse, includes a thought of the day, and ends with a prayer. The author, Gayla Grace, speaks in real-life terms and doesn’t sugar coat the tough stuff. She brings Jesus into the situations stepmommas face and gives practical tips for building relationships with not just stepchildren, but your spouse and (most importantly) God.

Here are a few excerpts from Stepparenting with Grace that really spoke to me:

• Perseverance Wins The Prize: “In the early years of our marriage, I wondered if we would make it to our next anniversary. Blending four children, grappling with stepparent roles while learning to parent together, finding patience for ex-spouses, and trying to stay afloat with job, church, and community obligations seemed impossible. Now, after two decades of marriage, I’m thankful we never quit.”
• Your Unique Image: “Stereotyping…It happens in stepfamilies too. Have you felt it? As a stepparent, you’re not a ‘real’ parent. Maybe you’ve heard those dreaded words, “You’re not my mother! I don’t have to mind you!” Media contributes to the negative stereotyping of stepparents with movies with Cinderella, Snow White, and Stepmother….Stepmothers, especially, have to work twice as hard to overcome the “evil” stigma.”
• Pursue Love: “‘I need help to disengage,’ Brianna said. ‘My adult stepdaughter shows no interest in a relationship.’ ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Your stepdaughter may not show an interest right now, but that could change with time.’”
  • I especially love this one, because how many times do we tend to reject God and yet still want his love and relationship later? This is especially true for stepfamilies. You might be rejected now, but you likely won’t be later. Don’t give up!

I’m excited about Stepparenting with Grace and hope that it makes its way into stepmommas hands everywhere.

Purchase your copy of Stepparenting With Grace on Amazon here.

Stepmomma, you are so special. To God, to your family, to your stepchildren. It might not always seem that way, but don’t give up on them. One day you might just have stepchildren that adore you more than anyone else. Just like my brother and I adore ours.

MORE RESOURCES FOR THE GOSPEL-CENTERED MOMMA

Check out our resources page for even more game-changing resources for the gospel-centered momma. All of the resources have been or are personally used by me (Kristina) and are among the best of the best: resources to dive deeper into your faith, children’s books and bibles, and parenting books.