I’m just going to come out and say it: being a mom has made me a terrible friend from time to time. You guys…I missed my best friend’s birthday this year. Who does that?!?!?!? A mom with a new baby, that’s who. ME. That was three months ago and I still haven’t gotten to the post office to mail her present. Ugh. (Side note: typing this just made me remember that I also haven’t sent my brother his birthday present…which was two months ago. Fail. Fail. Fail.)
I have to cancel plans frequently because my child is sick.
OR someone is napping late and I don’t want a grump-pants on my hands because I woke him or her up in the middle of an REM cycle.
OR temper tantrums are the thing of the day and I’m not dragging my flopped-to-the-ground, dead-weight, screaming preschooler to the car with a baby strapped to me.
OR I’m just too exhausted to pack the 500 things required of my two children just to spend an hour at the playground, then repack it all to come home.
I’ll read a text message and forget to respond because I’m in the middle of cooking dinner while also trying to keep my 40 pound child from injuring my 18 pound child while playing with mega bloks.
I’ll invite a friend over for lunch and then not get to talk to her much because I’m interrupted 36 times by a someone who just has to tell me right this second that “MOM! That sunflower is YELLOW!” and then a minute later requires my participation in bathroom activities. And then repeats it over and over until she leaves.
I used to send homemade cards for people’s birthdays, holidays, thank yous…now I’m lucky if I get a store bought card in the mail a few weeks late.
Be a Friend Who Reflects Christ
Being a mom can make us (sometimes) terrible friends. Which brings us to God’s word for the day:
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
The day after my best friend’s birthday, I talked to her and apologized for being a terrible friend.
Her exact words were, “Yeah, I noticed you forgot. It’s OK. People with babies get a “free” card.” And then we talked about our normal stuff and all was well with the world. She was the embodiment of Colossians 3: 12-14 that day. She didn’t get mad or offended. She didn’t judge me because I couldn’t handle life that week. She was kind, gentle, patient, forgiving, and loving.
Will you join me in striving to model those verses, just as she did with me that day? Whether it is your best friend or a complete stranger, we all need a little (a lot) of grace when deep in the mom trenches.
“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
If someone cancels plans with you, be understanding. If someone doesn’t respond to a text, be patient. If someone forgets your birthday, forgive. If someone is grumpy with you, send up a prayer for them and be compassionate. You never know the chaos that may be going on that you don’t see or hear about. Treat others with the love of Christ that binds us all together in perfect unity!
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.”
Friends are so incredibly important for moms. God designed us to need one another, and leaning on others when we need strength is part of his design of the church. Read Messy Tired Love’s devotional “Finding Strength in Church Community.” Don’t alienate yourself because life is tough right now. And don’t shy away from people that don’t have it together themselves. Let’s work together, mom together, and be reflections of Christ together!