How to Prayerfully Prioritize Life

Momma life is full. Full of good and wonderful things, like snuggles, “I love yous,” and moments of pride when our children make good choices on their own. 

It’s full of difficult things, like cleaning up after messy people all day long, managing temper tantrums, and seeing our own sin revealed during moments of trying to guide our families in the Lord. 

It’s also full of things to do. All day long, our schedules are full. Every minute is filled with responsibilities. Responsibilities at home. Responsibilities at church. Responsibilities in our community. Responsibilities in marriage, family, and friendships.

I’ve personally reached a point in my life and motherhood where I can see that the path ahead is going to get busier, which terrifies me. As a work-from-home momma who also serves the church, I already feel like our schedule is busy.  My oldest child is just entering school age, and with it extracurricular activities will come. My second will follow not too far behind, adding even more to our schedules. I long to protect our family time, and most importantly, protect my responsibility as a mother to raise my children to love the Lord. 

Prayerfully prioritizing life has become a mission of mine, and it hasn’t come easy. Sometimes God’s priorities are different from my own. I am a to-do list person, and getting as much done in the shortest amount of time is always my goal. But that isn’t always what is best for my and my family. Being prayerful about the decisions my family makes, paired with consistent Bible reading, is the best way to open up the door for God to reveal his plan and priorities for our lives. 

Steps To Prayerfully Prioritize Life

Prayerfully prioritizing life is a process that won’t just take five minutes. If you don’t have an hour to sit down and follow these steps in one sitting, it’s OK to break the steps up into chunks of work over a few days. That can even be better, as it allows you to really listen to God and think through your list. Make this process your own, between you and God, and do what works for you. You can also do this with your spouse, and even with your children if they are old enough. Making them a part of the process will allow them to have more ownership and understanding of the outcome.

1. Pray. Before you do anything pray about how you’d like to prioritize all of the things on your plate with God’s input. Tell him areas where you are feeling overwhelmed. Reveal the areas of your heart where you want to hold on and not change. Don’t be shy about telling God where you do want change. Be open and honest, while also asking for a softened heart to receive his guidance, especially in areas where you know it will be hard to accept if he gives you guidance you’re not going to love.

2. Make a list of all of the things. Everything that you have going on in your life needs to be written down on a piece of paper. Don’t worry about the order right now, just write down everything as it pops into your head. Here’s what mine looks like:
   
   • 20-30 hours paid work for six different clients
   • Write devotionals for church Women’s Ministry
   • Messy Tired Love devotionals, newsletters, and social media
   • Keeping the house clean: laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms, 
   • Daily meal prep
   • Take children to Monday morning child care
   • Bible Study Fellowship on Tuesday mornings
   • Small group Bible Studies on Tuesday evenings
   • Swim lessons on Wednesdays
   • Help husband with home renovation project
   • Take children to Monday morning child care
   • Helping son with homework
   • Preschool homeschooling daughter 
   • Reading Bible as family, daily
   • Personal quiet time with God, daily

Your list will look much different than mine, and might be a lot of longer or a lot shorter. I’ve already done some of the prayerfully prioritizing work on my list, which took out a lot of the non-essential stuff we felt wasn’t in God’s plan for us right now. 

3. Pray again. Pray over each item that you have listed and ask God to reveal to you not only the priority the item should have in your life, but also if it should be done differently to bring him more glory. 

4. Hold each item on your list against scripture. For each item on your list, think of it through the lens of the following scriptures, then ask yourselves the corresponding question(s).
   
   Matthew 22:37-39 “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”
   
   Does the item on your list help you and your family to love God first, and love others second? Is there selfish ambition underneath the activity?
   
   Here’s a personal example: As a teen, I put a lot of effort into my academic performance and struggled with self-righteousness in a lot of areas. Looking back, I wish that I would have had more guidance to address this issue by lessening the priority I put on academics. While academics are certainly not bad, your particular situation may warrant less emphasis on that and more emphasis on developing Spirit-filled character.
   
   Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
   
   Does the item on your list promote the fruits of the Spirit within each of your family members, or hinder their growth?
   
   An example here: I have a friend who has a very competitive child. So much so, that she has to restrict competitive games during family nights, or else the evening will quickly turn into anything but kindness and goodness. They are working with their child 1:1 and then will slowly incorporate more competitive activities back into their family’s schedule.
   
   1 Timothy 6:4-6 (CSB) “…he is conceited and understands nothing, but has an unhealthy interest in disputes and arguments over words. From these come envy, quarreling, slander, evil suspicions, and constant disagreement among people whose minds are depraved and deprived of the truth, who imagine that godliness is a way to material gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
   
   Does anything on your list contain these sinful things? What brings you contentment?
   
   A great example here is social events. There is nothing wrong with getting together to volunteer, serve, or even just hang out with friends. But if any activity is harboring envy, quarreling, gossip, suspicion, bickering, etc. – it’s not something you should continue. At least not in the same capacity. 
   
   Don’t stop with these verses. The entire Bible is filled with guidance on how we can prioritize our life, make decisions, and live our lives. I wrote a New Year’s Resolutions post about setting your goals against scripture that can be helpful here too.
   
   I encourage you to open the Bible and find other verses that God wants to use to share with you and your family for direction.

5. Pray again! What is God showing you about how your priorities need to be realigned? Is there anything that needs to be dropped from your schedule altogether? Is there anything that needs to be adjusted so that your family perspective/outlook can align with scripture better? Pray over your list again, acknowledging what you’ve learned from the Bible verses and confessing any sticky points in your heart that you notice. 

6. Make a plan. Perhaps you’ve learned that something on your list is taking a higher priority in your family routine than it should. Make the adjustments necessary to get it right. Ask for help where you need it. If something needs completely removed from your list, you may have to have a conversation with someone about stepping away from it for a little while. For example, if you decide that your family needs one night a week to be together at home for a family worship night, you may have to say no to volunteering that extra night in the community.

What does your list look like? What needs deprioritized to make room for something more important? What is not on your list that God is whispering to you about adding? Family worship night? Daily family prayers before the day begins or before bed? Continue to pray about your activities and make adjustments as you feel led and as your family grows. God will be with you every step of the way!

When Prayerfully Prioritizing Life Doesn’t Go Your Way

So what do we do when we prayerfully prioritize our lives and we are unhappy with how things are going? It’s time to have some deep conversations with God. Find time to tell God exactly how you are feeling and ask him to uncover any sinful areas that are blocking you from growing in him or accepting his guidance. Open up the book of Psalms to see what this looks like. The author, Kind David, was no stranger to pouring out his true feelings to God! 

After you’ve been honest with God, listen for the answer. It may come through the Bible (so make sure you are reading it!), or a trusted brother or sister in your church community. Be open to seeking counsel from those believers God has placed in your life that are wise (Proverbs 12:15; 13:10). 

Mommas, prayerfully prioritizing life won’t always be easy, but it will lead to a path that we know is God-directed. And when things change, we’ll have to go through the process again. But what joy we will find in having this strong and open relationship with our Savior!

RESOURCES FOR THE GOSPEL-CENTERED MOMMA

If you enjoyed this post, check out Messy Tired Love’s devotionals here.

Check out our resources page for game-changing resources for the gospel-centered momma. All of the resources have been or are personally used by me (Kristina) and are among the best of the best: resources to dive deeper into your faith, children’s books and bibles, and parenting books.